The Big Cosmic Jester In The Sky (ha ha ha ha)

Feb 27 2018

Holly Stoppit
Image credit: Holly Stoppit

In thinking about the week leading up to the flow themed Mindful Play Session, I had visions of sitting at my laptop, at a lovely, clear desk, listening to classical music, wearing long dresses, with my hair down, tapping away in joyful flow, my book flying from my fingertips with ease and grace.

“Ha,” said the Big Cosmic Jester In The Sky, “I have other plans!”

Big Cosmic Jester remembered the time I last set aside time for writing my book. Four chapters in and just finding my flow and ha ha ha ha, just for a laugh, funny old Jester crept in my computer, replacing my data with a giant question mark. Ha ha ha ha. Hilarious.

So in the flow was I, that did I remember to back up my data? Not I! Ha ha ha ha. School boy mistake. The man in the shop said my hardrive was “fucked” if I wanted to see my chapters again, they would come at the price of one thousand pounds. Ha ha ha ha. Money I didn't have!

So, I did what any sane person would do, I went on strike for over two years. Ha ha ha ha. Not writing a book!

So now it is now and I'm back in the flow, chapter one has more depth from two years of living and learning and falling in love and it's onto the next chapter, the one about Flow.

There's a sparkling glint in Big Jester's eye, “Wouldn't it be funny if I made her computer die?” Ha ha ha ha. The Irony! First came the red light that glowed from the hole where the headphones usually go. Ha ha ha ha, no soundtrack for me! Then came the jitters, the judders, the freeze, ha ha ha ha, no writing for me!

A long call to Apple, I started to tighten, my jaw became locked, my shoulders hunched, my face set and ready for battle “SOMEONE WILL PAY!!!” (I didn't say) I pressed all the buttons they told me to press, but nothing was working, I could no longer suppress a howl emanating from the bottom of my being; “I JUST WANT TO WRITE MY FUCKING BOOK” I screamed.

“Ha ha ha ha” Big Cosmic laughed, “Look at you now, what a great joke! You're as far from flow as it's possible to go.” I could only agree and in a pitiful huff, I slunk off to find a cuddle from my love.

All cuddled and cried out, I remembered the game: the chapter's on flow, so that is my mission, to soften and lighten and let the light in.


This time I backed up, you'll be happy to hear. Doctor Laptop is fixing my mac, what a dear. I'm drawing pictures and notes in my book and squatting PCs and enjoying not knowing.

How anything




Thanks for reminding me, Big Cosmic J, that conditions for flow are rarely just so. In order to flow, all you need to do is breathe deeper and soften to what's already here!

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