Vulnerability- The Process 2
Feb 23 2017
Hoorah! I’ve just had the most delicious, grounding, healthy dinner with this month’s work in progress collaborators, Ed Rapley and Liz Clarke. I’ve worked with them both individually in the past and feel utterly delighted to be supported by their inspiring combination of deep thinking, daring risk taking, mega commitment and relentless passion for the work.
I talked at them through the whole of dinner, scattering thoughts and dreams and research all over the kitchen table, along with curry, ice cream and wine, unable as I was to stop talking for long enough to chew. How lovely to feel heard, connected, supported and fed!
They gave me their feedback about “Stage Fright,” last month’s show, which culminated in the unanimous opinion that I Did What I Had To Do. Then we turned our attention to “Vulnerability,” this months show. After a general discussion around the theme, they gave me these three questions to take away and being a keener, I answered them straight away:
1.) What are your current favourite vulnerability avoidance tactics?
Procrastination, facebook, fretting, "poor me-ing" and thoughts of sabotage / escape.
2.) What are the ways you are currently engaging with your vulnerability?
Speaking my needs, asking for support, asserting boundaries, trusting, allowing people to see my emotions, offering without controlling people’s experience of me, trying new things, meditation, therapy, sex, showing unfinished solo work every month after not being on stage for 7 years.
3.) Are you safe enough to do this?
Yes. I feel confident in this territory as I’ve been learning about the power of vulnerability for around 7 years, through theory and practice. I have a lot of the theory at my fingertips, which will allow me to provide clear framing for you, the audience, so you will hopefully understand what I’m exploring and feel comfortable enough to come along for the ride. I feel confident that I have enough time with my collaborators to devise some structures that will allow me to safely inhabit my vulnerability on stage. I have so much support in my life these days, that I am not afraid of falling to pieces and if I do, I've got people and strategies to help me put myself back together. I am treating this whole thing as a research experiment, which helps keep the pressure down for me. It feels important. I am learning so much through doing this research and enjoying sharing my findings, it feels worth the potential discomfort.
Next week, I have 2 play days with Ed and Liz, on Monday and Wednesday, a day’s solo writing on Saturday and a warm-up session before the show on Sunday. My work in progress days will be interspersed with comedy degree marking days, which may have an interesting impact on my final performance….
Come and see the show on Sunday 5th March at 7.30 at The Wardrobe Theatre. Pay what you decide at the end. Venue info here.
Facebook event here.
All the blogs from This Work In Progress Project are conveniently listed at the bottom of the first blog, which you'll find here.