Rituals for Change
Aug 12 2025

This blog goes out to anyone who is interested in making changes in their lives. It contains three rituals for you to: 1.) Explore your inner parts and their relationship with change 2.) Take yourself on a nature walk to contemplate what you want to let go of and what you want to draw in and 3.) Create a piece of artwork to encapsulate and activate an intention. But first, a little context!
Bee’s Writing Retreat

It’s early August and I’m sitting on a big green cushion in Bee’s garden, which overlooks the rolling hills on the outskirts of South Bristol. There’s a lot of sky and space to think in Bee’s garden!
For the last five summers, Bee has opened up her home and garden for a week in August, inviting in a bunch of writers to connect, write and feast together. A rolling cast of Bristol-based creatives come and go throughout the week. It’s a choose-your-own-adventure kind of a writing retreat, punctuated by pot-luck feasts, tender-hearted sharing and riotous and raucous laughter.
The day begins in the big blue tent in the garden. One of us leads a short grounding exercise, before we have a little check-in. We pull a few cards out of a huge stack of oracle decks (pictured at the top) to help us shape our intentions for the day.
Once our plans are made, we scatter to the various writing stations around the house and garden and do what we need to do up until lunchtime. In any one moment, you may find somebody free-writing on the garden bench, whilst someone else will be sat at the kitchen table crafting a poem, making a collage or swearing at a sewing machine, another person may be lolling around on the big cushions in the tent, reading a book and any one of us may be napping in the long grass.
At lunchtime, we reconvene to share delicious food and update each other on our wonderful achievements (everyone gets an enthusiastic, celebratory, “ding, ding, ding!,” regardless of how much or little they’ve done). After lunch, we set out our afternoon intentions and off we go again.
These are my favourite conditions for writing; scheduled solitude in the company of warm-hearted, hilarious, lovely people. We hold and inspire each others’ creative explorations, riding the waves of “this is shit” and “I love this!” together.
So what will I write this week?
I want to offer a gift to you, dear readers. I want to thank you for sticking with me through these last few tumultuous years!
My last blog, Confessions Of A Compulsive Traveller, was pretty edgy, and I appreciate how many of you reached out to me to let me know how it touched you. Thank you. That blog signified the end of a huge chapter of my life. With those words, a line was drawn and as I hit ‘publish,’ I found myself on the other side of the line, entering The Next Chapter Of My Life. A big change has happened and I’m feeling super grateful for all the conditions that constellated to make is so.
Three factors that have really supported this change are:
1.) Getting to know my inner parts and their relationship with change
2.) Participating in various rituals to honour what has happened, savour the nourishment and release whatever no longer serves
3.) Setting clear intentions and dreaming in the life I long to live
This blog describes some of the ways I have recently connected with these concepts and invites you to take inspiration into your own personal processing, with three handy how-to guides. You can do all of these activities on your own, but you may wish to try them out with a friend / peer group / therapist / guide. Please follow your gut, pause whenever you need to and feel free to adapt all these offers to suit yourself and your needs.
1.) A meditation / creative exploration to explore how your inner parts feel about change

One of the biggest factors of my BIG CHANGE, was receiving a lot of support to help me get to know my inner parts and their relationship with change. By “inner parts,” I mean the cast of characters that live inside of each of us: like the inner critic, the inner child, the inner teenager etc. I’ve been extremely lucky over the past couple of years to attend various Internal Family Systems (IFS) trainings (IFS Level 1 + 2 (IFIO) + Somatic IFS (step 1), as well as attending personal therapy and various co-created embodied IFS / Fooling labs. I've also found ways to integrate parts work into my daily meditation and writing practices.
All of this support has helped me understand why some of my parts were driving me towards constant change and others were digging their heels in. I’ve also been able to explore the discomfort / dis-ease that the opposition between these two camps of parts was creating in my system.
Gaining the trust of my inner parts has been a lengthy process. I’ve needed to show up again and again to demonstrate my commitment to them, even when they’ve refused to look at me or talk to me. Through my persistence and patience, they’ve gradually come to see me as trustworthy and let me in. The more they’ve felt seen and heard, the more they’ve relaxed and softened their knee-jerk reactions to situations, allowing me to take hold of the steering wheel of the Holly-bus and drive us all to calmer / healthier lands.
I mean - it’s not plain sailing all the time! My parts still get activated by signs of “danger” and grab the wheel of the Holly-bus within seconds, but 9 times out of 10, I can catch them before they’ve driven the bus off a cliff!
So, as an example of what I’m going to invite you to do, let’s hear from some of my parts and find out how they feel about change…
Me: Hey guys! How do you feel about change?
Change-a-holic: Gimme gimme gimme all the new stuff! I want to experience everything! Routine is boring, let’s go!
Punk: Yeah fuck this shit, let’s burn it all down!
Novice Buddhist: Change is inevitable, it’s happening all the time, so you might as well let go to the flow!
Mad Scientist: I wonder what would happen if we change ALL the variables? It could be interesting to plunge you into something completely new! How will you cope?
Wolf: I’m here for that! Ready to spot all the threats and opportunities. It’s safer to stay in continuous motion. Let’s go!
[Dear reader, you may recognise this first cluster of parts from my last blog as my ‘Posse of Moving Parts.’ As you can see, they really love change!]
Me: Thanks guys. I’m really grateful for the many times you’ve helped me out of sticky situations, you’ve kept my life full of freshness and adventure. You’ve kept me light on my feet and able to avoid and avert danger. You’ve led me into many different communities and allowed me to see hundreds of different ways of living. Thank you.
Me: I wonder, are there any other parts around that don’t like change?
Critic: I don’t really give a shit about change. But I do know that the only reason you love change so much is because you are fundamentally boring and you just do “kookie” things to appear more interesting.
Me: Hmm interesting point - so do you have a fear of me being boring?
Critic: You ARE boring! You are the most boring person I know, Yawn! But you can’t change that. I mean, if your life was to really change, you wouldn’t be able to handle it because you are basically weak and pathetic.
Me: Uh-huh, I see. You fear change in case I’m too weak to handle it? Then what do you think might happen?
Critic: Well, people will point fingers and jeer at you and then you’ll be banished from the human race, forced to live in a desert where you’ll crumple up and die in a pathetic little ball of inadequacy.
Me: Aha! It’s no wonder you’re nervous about change!
Me: Anyone else worried about change?
Shut Up and Make Do: I don’t know what all the fuss is about! Life is fine as it is! Nobody needs to change anything! Let’s just the make the best of what we’ve got!
Me: In many ways I agree with you, I appreciate how you can help me adapt to any situation, AND I think there’s room for some development.
Shut Up and Make Do: You’re always going on about “development,” what’s wrong with life as it?
Me: Well, where do I start? I love life, but I want to continue to melt away as many internal barriers as I can, so that I can fully experience it AND I want to continue to deepen my abilities to hold space for others to do the same AND I want to be part of the solution to end inequality, poverty, war, genocide and climate change.
Shut Up and Make Do: Blimey! That sounds tiring! Can’t you just get a hobby?
Me: What do you think that would do?
Shut Up and Make Do: It might occupy your time and give you something simple to think about. I just want you to be OK!
Me: Aww thank you. I am OK, fundamentally. I am supported internally and externally and I have work to do.
Me: Who else is around?
Tired Child: Why does everything always have to change? Can’t some things stay the same? It all changes so fast and nobody asks me what I want! I just want to stay still! I want my friends and my things around me. I want to feel safe!
Me: Oh sweetie, I hear you and I know change is hard for you. I’ve got you, hun!
So as you can see, there’s a heady mix of thoughts, feelings, opinions and beliefs around change in there. The more I’ve got to know my parts, one at a time, and the hopes and fears they hold, the more they’ve relaxed and space has opened up in my system. This spaciousness allows me to listen to my parts with more love and compassion and negotiate a wiser path of action, rather than being tugged this way and that by these unconscious drives.
What thoughts, feelings, memories, opinions and strategies do your parts hold around change?
This is a meditation / creative exploration that can take any time between 15 mins and an hour.
- Find somewhere comfy to sit. You might want to have things to write / draw with.
- You can set a timer if you wish to contain this exploration to a specific amount of time or just feel your way through it.
- Take a moment to ground yourself. Feel the physical parts of you that are connected with the earth, elongate your breath, invite any tension in your body to soften and release.
- Orientate yourself in the here and now through your senses - what can you hear, smell, feel, taste, see?
- Know that you can come back to the now like this at any moment, if you feel overwhelmed.
- If you’re ready, drop this question into your body: “How do you feel about change?”
- You might notice body sensations, emotions, thoughts, pictures, impulses.
- Choose one and shine your curious attention on it, until a part begins to reveal itself.
- You might experience your part as a body sensation or a voice or an image - keep your awareness wide and see who appears.
- Take time to get a sense of this part, what is it like? What are its qualities?
- Ask them to tell you a little about their relationship with change, if they are willing.
- Feel free to capture their insights with writing or images, or just hold them in your minds eye if you prefer.
- Once they’ve finished telling you about their relationship with change, drop the question into your body again and see who else steps forward.
- Keep going in this way until you have heard from a range of parts.
- Before you end - take a moment to take in all the parts that have revealed themselves to you. Notice: how do you feel towards them?
- Do you get a sense of how your parts have tried to keep you safe over your lifetime?
- If it feels appropriate, you can thank your parts and see if they are able to take in your gratitude.
- When you’re ready, come back to the ground. Feel the physical parts of you that are connected with the earth, elongate your breath, maybe shake or stretch your body a bit.
- Orientate yourself in the here and now again through your senses - what can you hear, smell, feel, taste, see?
2.) An outdoor ritual: Letting go and gathering in

This is a ritual to be undertaken outdoors, inspired by a Lammas contemplation that Briony Greenhill offered as part of our Deep Play Retreat at Embercombe in Devon last week.
Briony began by introducing us to the wheel of the year; according to the Celtic / Pagan calendar, the year is split up into 8 parts (see picture above), each section is around 6 weeks long and follows the solar events of the year (spring equinox, summer solstice, autumn equinox and winter solstice) and the midpoints between them.
We’re currently down in the bottom left section, known as Lammas or Lughnasadh - the time of harvest. To mark the turning of the wheel, Briony invited us to take a walk amongst the glorious late-summer nature explosion at Embercombe and gather two posies of wildflowers; one to represent the life we’ve lived in the last quarter (ie Litha - the time since summer solstice on 21st June) and one to represent the life we’d like to live in the next quarter (Lammas - from the beginning of August until around 20th September).
We drifted down towards the lake, gathering flowers and grasses and berries and twigs to symbolise the different elements of our recent lives. My posey contained succulent rosehips, celebrating my bountiful workshops, a tiny yellow flower for joy shared with dear friends and a tangle of bindweed, representing the mounds of admin I’ve struggled to complete! We bound our posies with long blades of grass and took a moment to notice how we felt, before turning our attention to the next 8th of the year. We gathered natural objects to represent the ingredients we would we like to see in the next 6-8 weeks of our lives. My posey contained many more yellow flowers for much more joy with good pals, a long stand of grass for spacious perspective and white fluffy thistle seeds for soft, sweet connection.
We arrived at the lake and Briony led a song of gratitude until our voices all settled into a simple repetitive refrain. Each person stepped forward in turn and sang the song of their posies to the lake, before releasing them to the water. In letting go of our creations, we handed over to the universe.
What will you let go of? What would you like to gather in?
If you’d like to do a version of the Lammas ceremony, here’s how to do it:
- Take yourself to somewhere outdoors - it doesn’t need to be the wild countryside, it could be a park or even a garden. See if you can plot your route to end at some flowing water or other elemental finishing point.
- Choose a period of time that you’d like to reflect on (you could follow the wheel of the year, or choose another window of time).
- Take a moment to ground yourself. Feel the physical parts of you that are connected with the earth, elongate your breath, invite any tension in your body to soften and release.
- Orientate yourself in the here and now through your senses - what can you hear, smell, feel, taste?
- Soften your eyes, let them blur a bit, so instead of looking directly at things with eagle eyes, you are allowing your eyes to receive what’s here. Briony calls this Owl eyes.
- Begin to wander, inviting things to come to you to represent the elements of your last period of being alive, allow both the “good” and the “bad” to be represented.
- Make sure you ask before you take from living things; ask the tress or bushes or flowers, “May I?” If they say no, do not take! Trust that something else will appear.
- Once you’ve gathered your posey, find some long grass and bind the stems together tightly.
- Take a moment to look at your posey and notice how you feel.
- Then put your posey in a pocket or a bag and have a stretch or a shake or a few deep breaths.
- Now begin gathering the ingredients you would like to appear in the next chapter of your life.
- You don’t have to already have a list - let nature support you in offering the things you might need.
- Again, make sure you ask before you take.
- Once your posey is complete, bind it with grass.
- Again, have a look at your posey and notice how you feel.
- For the ceremony to be complete, you need to find a way to release your posies to the elements. You could float them in a river or a lake, offer them to the earth or air or burn them on a fire. As you do this, offer your gratitude and prayers out loud if you dare, but the universe will still be be able to hear them if you just think them in your head.
Now the work is done, you have acknowledged your recent past and imagined into your imminent future. Now you know what you’re looking for, be ready to welcome it in!
3.) Setting Clear Intentions: Create Your Own Sigil

This week, at Bee’s writing retreat, one of Bee’s friends, Angela, led a workshop in how to create a sigil. If you’re like, “What’s a sigil?” so was I! Luckily, helpful Uncle Colin (of Colin’s Dictionary) says it’s “a seal or signet” or “a sign or image supposedly having magical power.” It’s basically a creative way of declaring your intentions and manifesting your desires.
Angela is a self-described witch and loves to play with sigils - both as a way of getting clear on her intentions, but also as a meditative art practice. She began by inviting us to journal for a bit about what we might want to manifest. As I was at a creative writing retreat, I decided to concentrate on my creative path.
We were then invited to distill our writing down to a single sentence, summing up our desires, in the present tense, like it was already happening. I wrote; “I AM CREATIVELY SATISFIED, CELEBRATED, CONNECTED AND SUPPORTED.”
We then took out all the vowels (you can choose whether or not to include the Y’s): “M CRTVL STSFD, CLBRTD, CNNCTD ND SPPRTD.”
Then we took out any repeated consonants until we were left with a pithy collection of letters: “MCRTVLSFDBNP.”
We were then invited to creatively arrange those letters into a symbol and hey presto, our Sigil’s took form!
I quickly sketched mine on the pages of my journal (my inner critic won’t let me linger long with visual art!), but other people spent time reworking their sigils and capturing them in different coloured pen and paint.
Would you like to create a Sigil?
Here's how!
- Set a timer for 10 mins and journal about what you might want to manifest. No censoring, no editing, just write!
- Distill your writing down to a single sentence, summing up your desires. Write in the present tense, like it is already happening
- Take out all the vowels (you can choose whether or not to include the Y’s)
- Take out any repeated consonants until you left with a collection of consonants
- Arrange those letters into a symbol and as if by magic, your Sigil has arrived!
You can spend as much time as you like, reworking your Sigil using different art materials. Once you are happy with it, you can stick it somewhere where you’ll see it often, as a reminder for what you are inviting in.
The End Of The Writing Retreat
It’s Friday night and we’re gearing up for the last night’s gathering. Potatoes are baking in the oven and creative things are happening with the leftovers. Writers are returning to Bee’s garden, to savour and celebrate our time together at the writing retreat.
I’m taking a sneaky moment to finish this blog.
I’m so grateful to have had this space and support to reconnect with myself and my writing practice and what a delight to have spent this week in such high quality company! It’s made me feel very, very pleased to have finally made the BIG CHANGES that have allowed me to stop moving around all the time and settle back into the gorgeous creative wonderland of Bristol.
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If you are interested in finding out more about my journey with Internal Family Systems, start here.
Thanks to Bee and Lucy, of The Radical Admin Collective for co-producing this years’ at home writing retreat. You can also find them on insta.
Thanks to Briony Greenhill for the Lammas contemplation.
Thanks to Angela, The Modern House Witch for the Sigil workshop.
If you like this sort of thing, I'd also like to recommend my friend Mel McCree's Moon writing prompts - a twice monthly self-reflective online resource that has really helped me get clear about what's been happening, what I really want, and what's stopping that from flowing.
Thanks to all of you for reading my blogs.